THE FIVE MOST OVERBLOWN NEWS STORIES OF 2009 THAT EMBARASSED AMERICA

First off let me Apologize for the non blogging as of late. I have three topics I want to talk about, but been uber busy at work. This months blogs should make up for the lack of blogs in November. So as filler for now, please enjoy a blog from my best friend Carlos medrano. Thank you.-Pablo



We have a reputation of being a shallow, braindead country. To be fair, most of the people I know are pretty sharp and out of the house for 10 or more hours a day because they work so much. After spending 2/3rds of the day busting it or sleeping, who has a right to say whether you should spend your free time reading Heart of Darkness or watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta?

Why are we so superficial? Why are we not as refined as people in other places of the world? How could a country work itself into the ground yet be considered an empty, bubblegum culture? The reason is THE MEDIA.

Aside from its pursuit of money, the media operates in a realm separate from reality. However, in a strange way, it dictates our reality: What's considered important and newsworthy is usually laughable or cringeworthy. At other times, it's plain fearmongering. We're used to the baby being shot; to the 80 year old woman being mugged. We're even used to the new scientific study that says walking through subway turnstiles causes cancer. Controversy creates cash. If it bleeds, it leads. We know all the cynical aphorisms.

However, sometimes stories break that are so stupid they transcend rational explanation... not because of what happened, but because of the outcry they generate. And, of course, living in America, we get suckered into mindless conversations about these things which really don't matter to us at all.

So after touring the world to get to my point, HERE ARE THE FIVE MOST OVERBLOWN NEWS STORIES OF 2009 THAT EMBARASSED AMERICA:

1) KANYE @ THE VMAS - Where were you when you heard the news? I will never forget... I had gotten home after drinking about four tall boys at Pablo's house. I was fucked up and had no idea the VMAs still even existed. I make my nightly...hourly visit to Facebook and learn of the travesty that just occurred. The cries were all over:
"KANYE IS HITLER!"
"LEAVE KANYE ALONE!"
"BOTH OF YOU ARE STUPID FOR DISCUSSING THIS! WHAT ABOUT HEALTHCARE!"
"WHO THE FUCK IS TAYLOR SWIFT?"
The world was shaken at its foundations, and those on either side of the debate lost life and limb defending or berating the greatest artist since Michelangelo

2) MICHAEL JACKSON'S DEATH - Obviously, I'm not surprised that MJ's death was a complete firestorm. No, what I don't understand is why everyone decides to buy an artist's albums after he/she dies. Didnt you like him before he died? Why didn't it occur to you to buy his albums before? Not that I care, but you do know that Thriller has been out since the Reagan administration, right? Also, the real Michael Jackson died in the early 90s. It was funny seeing people on tv waxing poetic about the past self of a guy who was a pariah for the last 15 years of his life

3) SWINE FLU - EVERYONE HAS IT! THE CORPSES LINE THE STREETS! But don't get the vaccine... It'll kill you or at least make you blind

4) PALIN IN RUNNING SHORTS - This lady breeds petty, overblown news stories. Why do people hate her, though? Politically, I'm pretty apathetic. Everyone knows politics are a complete farse. However, it seems that most people think Republicans are much worse than Democrats. Yo, BOTH SIDES ARE EQUALLY FULL OF SHIT. I'm glad Obama got elected, but Republicans aren't even really Republicans anymore. And most Democrats have just as many rich buddies as the right-wingers. Oddly enough, Palin is actually more of a conservative than Bush and McCain combined. Maybe this is what pisses people off---she's SUPPOSED to be a feminist. Or maybe it's the fact she sounds like the mom from Bobby's World...

5) TIGER'S CAR ACCIDENT- My main inspiration for this note. This was the culmination of a year of non-stories. This may be a private matter, BUT THE FIRE HYDRANT IS PUBLIC DOMAIN! Also, what was the role of the tree in all of this? Joining us at the 5 o'clock hour will be a representative from JD Power and Associates who will analyze the damage on Woods' car as reported on TMZ


And these are my five dumbest stories of 2009. Have I forgotten one?