Everybody want to be a nigga but nobody wants to be a nigga!

Hello plebeians! Sorry that I've been gone so long. Hectic days in the sweltering heat of summer. I was busier than al quaida planning their next douchebag terrorist attack. So on sept 1st I was headed to cabo san Lucas, Mexico. A place to have fun in the sun and hopefully get some buns! I had a great trip, but I noticed that all my friend wanted to do during the day was tan! Tan! Tan! Tan!

I had an epiphany while on vacation. Everytime I've gone to the beach or on vacation with chicks, all they ever want to do is lay down and let the sun cook them! What the fuck is up with everyone wanting to be tan nowadays!? Maybe the reason I don't understand is cause I'm dark skinned.

All I know is that if you're at a sunny destination for a week, you don't need to lay out to tan. You will tan naturally even if all u did was walk or go horseback riding. There is this infatuation with becoming darker that I can't understand! Why!? It's true what Paul mooney said,"everybody want be a nigga, but ain't nobody want be a nigga!". I think that perfectly sums it up.

Here's a question, how come everyone gets all upset when a dark person makes their skin lighter (see: Michael Jackson, Sammy Sosa), but no one cares when white people start looking darker than Wesley snipes!? Or even care when they look like a motherfucking bottle of sunkist!? All I'm saying is a. Take it easy with the tanning people! And B. Don't get mad at mj and Sammy sosa for reverse tanning! Ok I'm done ranting.

Oh, and the 2010 tanning awards go to.

1st place: Marlene Almonte-she literally lays on the bitch all day during a beach trip. She only comes up for liquor.
2nd place: Christie Mammana- came very close to first place, but she helped herself by choosing to take a dip in the pool every once in a while.
3rd place: Mallory Almonte- tans with the best of them, but consistently gets up when need be to get a drink, act a fool, and take a knee deep dip in the beach.

That is all!

Miele My Gears!

Its been more than a month since my last blog! But I'm back! And I will make up for lost time! More blogs coming soon!

You know what grinds my gears? When you are on a website and you get one of those pop up ads! And not the regular ones that open up a new window, I'm talking about those annoying animated ones with video and sound. It's freaking disturbing. What kills me is that they make the close button so hard to find! This ad does not make me want to buy gastrol gtx! It makes me want to throw Molotov cocktails at the gastrol factory! I'm just saying that we need to put a stop to these pop up ads! They seem to get more annoying and elaborate as computers get more advanced!

You know what else grinds my gears?


The slew of movies in 3DDDDD! I understand that Avatar and Alice in Wonderland were box office hits, but c'mon son! Do we really need Step Up 3D? Do I really need to see the last airbender in 3d!? Hell no! Some people in Hollywood don't understand that we are smarter than that! People went to see avatar 3d because the hype said it would change the landscape of 3d films, and it did. It was a movie shot in 3D with 3D cameras. It was a beautiful movie. But now some people in Hollywood want to ride the coat tails! Shit pisses me off! Don't make a movie that was filmed with regular cameras into 3D! We know you are trying to jack our money that we worked hard for! So please my people, do not go see movies in 3D! We can not feed into this 3D shit! There is 1 movie you should watch that was meant to be in 3D and it was before avatar. Watch My Bloody Valentine 3D, it's a pretty good homage to B horror movies! Rent it!

Oh, here is some good music and a hot video to go with it!

Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill: Who's fault is it anyway!?

Take a look at these pictures...

"the worst rig explosion in history"
" the worst environmental disaster"
 These are the headlines on the news. These headlines are definitely true. These pictures show the nature of this disaster. Who is to blame? Some people say it is the Bush administrations fault because they drafted industry friendly regulations. Others say that Obama didn't do everything he could have and that this is his Katrina, and he's failing. And there is the group that says that it is the greedy oil companies fault (BP). They say this is the last straw! Know what I think? All of the above are correct and wrong at the same time!

You want to blame someone? Look in the mirror America! WE THE PEOPLE are dependent on oil! To drive our cars (fancy or not), to heat our homes, and to fuel our planes for our exotic get-away vacations! Shame on us to point the finger at everyone but ourselves! Without the demand, half of these companies wouldn't be drilling for oil, either offshore in America or overseas! It's not that these oil companies are greedy, it's that there is a demand for something, and there are things they have to do to provide it to the American people. Other than invading another country for their oil, there is only really one way to stop drilling period. We need to stop using oil. Outrageous? Maybe, but if you are truly devastated and appalled by whats going on in the Gulf of Mexico, then that's what WE THE PEOPLE must do! We need to help support research on alternate sources of energy and do what we must to have the government and the world notice that we are not totally selfish! So stop pointing the fingers at just BP, Bush, Obama....all of us are responsible and as intelligent beings, we need to stop for a minute and try to think of another way. I don't care what regulations were set, a disaster was bound to happen! Hopefully we can learn from this.

I have never claimed to be knowledgeable about politics or the environment, but I think this is so easy to see, and I can't believe that no one has mentioned this. Are we truly this blind?
Now fuck off! I need to turn on my AC and use all the power in my apartment!

Things that vex me!

Hello my people! The king has returned from his slumber! I am back to entertain the Plebeians and enlighten the those who have been in the dark for far too long! Today I will report on things that vex me! I let these things slide, but I really want to throw a frying pan at the people who commit these idiocy's, a la Monique's character in Precious. I just do not understand why people do these things! Let the blasting commence!

Idiot: PABLO!...PABLO!
Me: Whats up?
Idiot: ....(silence)
Me: Hellloooo?
Idiot:...(more silence)
Me: hmmm...(I continue what I was doing)
Idiot: Pablo!
Me: WHAT!?
Idiot: Come here!
Me: WTF!

I fucking hate people that call my name and don't answer back when I respond. WHY are you calling me if you aren't going to answer me!? This shit is annoying! I am pretty sure that everyone finds this shit annoying. What I like to do is return the favor later on, but when they come to me, I say "oh, I didn't call your name".


Facebook Wall Flowers!

You may be asking yourself, Pablo, what's a facebook wallflower? Well in general, a wallflower is someone at a club or party that doesn't mingle with anyone and just stays against the wall, not socializing. A Facebook wallflower is the same exact thing, except that they watch and read everything you post/do, but don't comment on it. They just watch. They never update their status, they never comment on your posts or anyones! But when you see them in person, they talk about every little thing you have done in the past 3 months, and you are just sitting there like "daaaaamn! stop watching me! Especially if you do not take an active part of the convo's!". I'm just saying, either comment or get a damn life! It's called social networking, not social watching! Comment on a pic or status once in a while! If you just want to observe, then cancel your facebook and go to the park and people watch! It's a lot more fun! GO NOW! OR JUST KILL YOURSELF!

Well! It seems as if I have hit a wall! TO BE CONTINUED...

Guest Blogger: WHY!?

Hilarious blog by my brother. Took me a whole month to post it but whatever! lol.
I will be writing something very soon! Get ready!

I don't understand why people type or text things they wouldn't or don't say in person!! I mean I've never said heehheehee...who the fuck does that?? I can see hahaha...its more natural..and who the hell told men that skinny jeans are in?? Ooh yeaaa kanye said so...too bad hes a fucking triplixionaire and he can fucking wear a tutu and make it a trend but why do fat motherfuckers wear skinny jeans? I don't wanna see your 7 year old stretch marks when u bend over you fucking mamaluke!! Another example of speech therapy issues..."hey,stop sending me Texas!!" TEXAS!!! Its fucking texts people, that's right next time you're speaking to someone they are gonna say it...right Gee!!! Lmao

....wooohooo......doesnt that speak for itself??? Who in the blue hell says woohooo?? Did you ever tell Pablo,"we're going to blue donkey woohoo?!!!!" NO...so why people why?? Here are some phrases that I'm going to use from here on in that i wouldn't spew from my mouth but to irritate people and prove my point....(if friends are arguing = oh stop it with the broohaahaa)... If someone says something funny = you're sooo silly (I personally hate this 1 and my daughter says this ALL the time...I'm gonna slap her in her face next time she says this...) If I'm pissed off = grrrrr ( yes even in public I'm gonna humiliate whoever is with me!! I WILL make that actual sound!! Okay...finally on another note...I fucking hate people that fall asleep in public places...and the real winners are those who snore and keep their mouths open!!! What the fuck is wrong with you!!! I'm personally going to start fucking with people that leave their mouths open so beware...I'm borrowing Pablo's Rat Zapper and after collecting 8 tails, 6 claws, and 5 pieces of skin from these little annoying gray creatures (why the fuck are they gray anyway??) I'm gonna have Pablo record me in public transportation (1,2,3,4,6 trains in particular) and when I see people with their mouths open, I'm gonna drop a claw or two in there (they'll probably think its just left over bacon from their bacon, egg, and cheese they had 30 min prior to!!! I'm fucking sick of seeing other peoples white tongue or gray cavities while they're sleeping and drooling on the seat next to them!!

Btw...I saw the video of a guy knocked out in the hallway of a hotel/casino and I must say I'm disappointed!!! I personally would have blown my nose on his face, taken a shit and placed it in his pocket...now that would have been classic!!! I wish I would have been there...well I know I was all over the place with this but its my first blog and many more random thoughts to come....AY YA....

Guest Blogger: More Lesbians!!

Sorry its been so long since my last blog! I have some new material for you guys that I will hopefully be able to post soon, so keep checking my page! Please enjoy this rant by my friend Carlos Medrano...

April is my favorite time of year. Baseball season begins, then a week later it's my birthday. It gets warm out, then girls start stripping.

I must say, the only downside to April is walking to Hot n Crusty and having to run into the angry brigade of lesbians known as Green Peace who emerge from their cryogenic slumber in time for the blossoming of spring like the fuckin mob of pestilent mosquitos that descends on my sweaty Hispanic ass in the first week of July.

What's bothering these girls? Why cant they just chill like the rest of us? Have u ever run into a lesbian who didn't have a fuckin cause? Ultimately, it's none of my business. I'm just saying---not even all gay dudes are like that.

One of my best friends in high school was gay and the only thing he cared about was dancing to Deborah Cox and suckin cocks and convincing me that it would be a good idea if he sucked my cock, which of course prompted a number of important heart-to-heart conversations where I reaffirmed the purely platonic nature of
our friendship.

But anyway, these lesbians are trying to save the whales---save this, save that, build earth homes for albino hemophiliacs in the Appalachian Mountains... like whatever! The environment will do just fine without you screaming to the high heavens about evil
corporations raping babies, performing vivisections on them and harvesting their organs to fund chemical plants that spew clouds of sarin gas over Westchester County. Seriously, just buy a dildo from the sex shop and chill the fuck the out!

Guest Blogger True Story: Lost his Manhood!

I have a very sad story to post. It's a true story told to me by an anonymous male. He obviously lost his man card...just read...so sad...



There is a transition point that a man and a woman go through when they live together.  In this transition period you find out things about your partner that you never knew before.  In my situation, my girlfriend is the greatest person to live with.  She is the perfect roommate, friend and partner.  She is the love of my life without a doubt but I could never forgive her for what I’m about to tell you.

It all happened on a chilly night and it was about 8:30pm.  I come home from a long day of work and school and she’s home with open arms and a nice cooked meal.  She greets me with a big kiss.  She tells me that dinner is ready and that she is exhausted so she plans to go to sleep early tonight because she has to wake up extremely early the next day.  I respond “no problem mami, I’m tired myself.”  So while I eat dinner, she takes a shower.  So right about now I’m feeling good.  The stomach is full; I’m going to watch some sports center and relax. 

It’s about 9:30pm and we turn off the lights.  When I turn off the lights in my room it does not necessarily mean that I have decided to go to sleep.  It just means that I don’t want my Con Edison bill off the roof.  We are now both lying down! I’m still watching sports center and then I plan to watch a movie right afterwards.  I’m tired but I’m clearly not sleepy.  She is on her side of the bed trying to sleep.  Because I’m so considerate of a man, I decide its only right to lower the volume of the TV so that she could fall asleep.  She keeps turning and turning and can’t fall asleep.  THATS WHEN IT ALL HAPPENED!! THE MAGIC WORDS THAT CHANGE OUR RELATIONSHIP FOREVER!  She explains to me that I should turn off the TV.  I respond “I’m not sleepy plus I’m watching sports center.”  She says “well you need to turn off the TV because I can’t sleep.”  I respond “what does that have to do with me.  Go to sleep!”  After minutes of arguing over the TV being turned on or off she starts to make me feel bad.  She says that “I’m so inconsiderate, it’s always about you, and I don’t love her.”  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  I mean these things she was saying were extremely harsh.  These words, after I thought by lowering the volume I was being nice and showing that I love her so much.  So finally I asked her “what do you propose I do if I turn off the TV and I’m not sleepy?”  She responds “Hug me and fall asleep.”  In my head I’m thinking HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

On one hand, I have sports center and the other hand I have hugging.  As bad as I want to continue to watch sports center the guilt was taking over though.  So I decide to turn off the TV but instead of hugging I literally stared at the ceiling for about 4 hours until I fell asleep.  While staring at the ceiling in the dark, I thought to myself “I have to go to sleep because she is sleepy!!”  I now have a bed time.  You might ask yourself, why he doesn’t just go to the living room and watch TV.  The answer is because I live in the hood that’s why.  We currently don’t have a living room because we turned it into a bedroom.

Listen people this shit is sad! I’m a grown ass man.  I have a job, I’m continuing my education, I have a plan!! But the reality is, I have a BED TIME.  Men understand what I’m going through right now!  One night I happened to take a red bull around bed time.  I didn’t know bed time was early that night so I drunk a red bull.  I was wired! I didn’t tell her I did that.  That night I lay down with her and sometime had passed and I got up quietly tip toeing out of the room.  In my apartment the floor makes noise so you have to know where to exactly step.  So I step out the room and I escape to my little sister’s room.  I’m so excited because now I get to watch the Late Night Shows.  About a half an hour passes and it’s HER asking me what I am doing.  I respond “I was watching TV with my sister.”  She asks me if I’m going to come to bed soon.  Her tone of voice didn’t sound like a request it sounded more like a demand.  So I wave to my sister goodbye and go lie on my bed and continue to stare at the ceiling.  UNBELIEVABLE but true story!  

                                         
WOW!!! CAN YOU SAY PUT ON A LEASH!!! I FIND THIS AMAZING! You need to put your foot down bruh and say, "hell no woman! I go to sleep when I want to!!! Now take your ass to bed while I watch my ESPN!" You might as well wear a cow bell so she knows where you're at at all times! First its come to bed with me, then don't watch tv, then you should wear different clothes, then its you should wear speedos at the beach. I'm done though. Do what the late Bernie Mac told his wife, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" 


You need to start this at 2:50!!! lmao do this!


 

C'MON BABY BEAR (BURR)!!! DON'T LIE TO YOURSELF!

Disclaimer:  I apologize ahead of time if someone close to you falls under this category or if you are the person I am talking about. But things need to be said! 

Have you ever seen a picture uploaded or a status posted that made someone seem so full of themselves? For example, people who post a pic and put, "Jessica Alba has nothing on me". More power to you for feeling that way. It's great that you feel you are the shit! Sometimes I feel like I'm unstoppable myself! The thing I hate is that most people aren't what they claim to be!!! We aren't blind. Don't say Jessica Alba or any other hot actress or singer doesn't have anything on you! SHE LOOKS 100x better than you! Get over it! There is a such thing as being cocky and confident, but c'mon! You are plain DELUSIONAL!!! This isn't the mirror mirror on the wall from Snow White! We all see that you're average or actually pretty ugly, and we accept you for this! So stop trying to gas yourself up! It's unhealthy.

And I'm going to be straight up about this. There are two people in particular on facebook that I know do this. A guy and a girl. I really don't know them all that well, but they know who they are. So to those people, sorry, but someone had to say this! YOU ARE NOT AS HOT AS YOU THINK (OR DREAM) YOU ARE! This one chick likes to post a pic on fb and then her caption always ends with something like, "*GWowW-BARBiE*". C'MON BABY BEAR(baby bear to be credited to Gregory Martinez, funny dude)!!!  You are no "barbie" and the closest to GWow you probably get is, "G! Wow! You are one cool, but weird looking broad!" The other person, is just totally full of himself. This guy has posted on fb that he looks so good and that girls stay hitting on him. Now he is average looking dude, but when I first met him, he had a pizza face. From his fb, he still seems the same! And I would guess that he is somewhat successful business-wise, but he's still single. So...C'mon baby bear! STOP BEING SO DELUSIONAL! If you are truly comfortable in your own skin, you don't need to declare to everyone that you are beautiful or hot or even super smart! People aren't blind or stupid! People aren't as shallow as they seem, but they definitly won't believe you're hot because you say so. And for the record. Hotness isn't just about your looks. It's your attitude, looks, sexiness, and smarts (to me anyway). You don't see Madonna or Taylor Swift telling the world how hot they think they are!


Now this one is straight to the fellas. Stop acting up and telling chicks you got a big member! First...don't say shit like this around your boys cause we don't care! That's mad gay!  2nd, whether its true or not, the truth will come out, and if you're smaller than you say you are, best believe that these girls will put you on blast! Especially after you break up! So do yourself a favor and leave it a mystery. Whenever a chick asks me how big I am I say, "very small" so that they actually get more curious and want to see it! But I kid! I actually tell them (this is true story), "There's only one way to find out for real now isn't there!?" So please fellas, stop bullshitting and bragging! It's not cute, and I find it annoying. Leave shit mysterious yo! C'MON BABY BEAR!!!


p.s. I might get into a lot of trouble for this, but I do it for my peeps!!


HOT FEMALE

 
































NOT SO HOT

If it doesn't fit, you must aquit!

You know what I'm tired of? The new battle of the baggy jeans crew vs
the skinny jeans crew. Are you people seriously arguing and making fun
of each other because of the types of jeans you're wearing? Do you
realize how stupid and shallow you sound? And I know some people are
going to say,"but Pablo, just the other day you ridiculed a guy
wearing paco jeans! Aren't you being hypocritical?" Well, yes and no.
I would never wear any jeans with a huge logo or name on the leg,
especially not paco jeans. But that's just me! I've always been an
advocate of wearing what YOU like or feel comfortable in, but don't
get upset at a little ridicule. About a year ago I bought these
Kenneth Cole sneakers that I fucking loved (which never happens with
me). They were grey and had some shiney parts to them. When my brother
saw them, he laughed and called them moon shoes (he wasn't the only
one either)! I did not give a fuck though. They were crazy comfortable
and to me they were hot and original. And by the way you should really
try Kenneth Cole sneakers fellas, they're really really comfortable. I
just got a new pair and they rock!

The problem with the skinny and baggy jeans is that no one has their
own personality anymore. Everyone just wants to wear whatever the
hottest rapper or artists are wearing. Whatever happened to
individuality? Why do you have to follow "pop culture". All they tell
you to do is wear this or that. You're cooler if you pay more for this
brand than the other! People need to stop looking at what's in style
and start making their own choices. Don't let MTV or bet make the
decision for you.

You'd think that it's the teens that are mainly following what their
artists wear, but it's not. It's grown ass men and women too. And that
is what disturbs me most of all. Why are you 35 and worrying if you
can get the same pair of tight ass red jeans Lil Wayne wore at a
concert? Why are you a 40 year old single mom who worries about how
many gucci purses you can get? The music industry has destroyed our
personalities!!

I've strayed a little from my original topic, but let's get back to
the point. Skinny jeans vs baggy jeans. Pablo, who do you think is the
winner?? My answer: none. Personally I don't care for the
unnecessarily baggy pants that drag down to the floor. And I
especially don't care for tight ass jeans that hug your legs like
their made for females. Here is something that you simpleton's didn't
think of! Get pants that actually fit you!! How about something not
too tight like spandex and not too baggy like overalls!?

Yes! Maybe some nice fitted jeans folks! Not tight, and a little room
for your sack to breathe in! And personally they feel great! I also
still have a couple pairs of baggy jeans, they arent mad baggy, but
they work for when i am in a "just chill" mood. But like I said
before, wear what YOU like, not what the media tells you! Remember, if
it doesn't fit, you must aquit! And he who hesitates, masterbates!!

TSHIRTS! AND OTHER FUNNY THINGS TOO!

I want to blog, but I'm feeling lazy tonight so I will just hit you all up with some cool t-shirts I found. Also some funny e-cards. Enjoy!

I know it happened a while ago, but it doesn't make it any less funny. lol

ALAN!!! HOW BOUT THAT RIDE IN!? HAHAHAHA

I feel better already! lmao








Now for some ecards from someecards.com! ENJOY! All of these are so fucking hilarious and true!

I find these last two the most hilarious cause they're so true. lmao

Throwback!!!

New York city 15
New York city singles 1
I'm a freak gurl 45

Remember back when aol was on and poppin!!!? People used to be in the
chat room all day!!! And this was before broadband, so it was all dial
up. If u lived with ur parents and didn't have your own line then you
were assed out!! You had to wait til like midnite to be able to get
online uninterrupted because if a call came in, you would get knocked
offline. To all those who were teens back then, you know you used to
yell, "ma get off the phone!!!" And you know that was devastating when
you were having a good conversation with the hot chick (who was
probably really a 40 year old man).

Also, people used to wild out on those ny chat rooms!! The chat rooms
used to be mad entertaining for a whole but then got mad wack. I
started going into the rooms just to fuck with people and piss them
off for my entertainment. I laugh now cause damn I was a hate monger.
Throwing obscenities to the public without regards to their feelings.

What's funny is that me and my cousin Carlos andre, chatted with these
two sisters from Miami once and we hit it off. The catch was that they
were older(16-18), while me and my cousin were 13-14. So of course we
lied and said we were their same age. I told her I didn't have a
scanner so I didn't have pics, but i told her that a lot of people
said I looked like ma$e (which is a lie). We would chat all night with
these chicks and this went on for months. The one that liked me even
sent me a letter(old school!!!) with mad Winnie the pooh stickers on
it, which was her fav cartoon. It got so serious that they were
planning on coming to ny to see us.

One day we decided to tell them the truth, and they were devasted. We
asked if we could still be friends, but they never hit us back up. I
guess we gave them their first lesson in "don't believe everything on
the Internet". good times!!

Well I just wanted to share these memories with you guys cause I'm
bored. Hope you enjoyed! Any funny stories just post them in the
comment section!!

VENT YOUR ANGER: Diary of an Angry Hispanic Man

This weeks Vent your anger was written by a hispanic man by the name of "Butta". After his rant, I will cosign and add some more to it! Lets get the gunshots going!!!




DIARY OF AN ANGRY HISPANIC MAN

There clearly has to be something I’m fucking missing because I’m fucking PISSED already! I was raised with women. The majority of the people I work with are woman. But I am simply just mentally exhausted! I am tired of hearing the same fucking conversation WOMEN continue to fucking have! Whether it’s on the subway, a restaurant, the park, the street, work, school! Get the fuck over it!! All they fucking do is talk about” WHY THEY CANT FIND A GOOD MAN!!!” Are you fucking kidding me!! Don’t you have anything else to talk about! But you want to hear something LADIES? Do you really want to know why you can’t “FIND A GOOD MAN?” It is obvious and actually very fucking SIMPLE! I even gave WOMEN the benefit of the doubt and looked at the DSM-IV to see whether there is something to justify your fucking psychological obsession! There wasn’t so I just call you woman retarded!

You might be thinking right now; “this guy obviously hates woman.” You couldn’t be more WRONG! I think woman are the most precious thing in this god forsaken planet! I just want you LADIES to understand that you hold all the POWER! Want to know WHY? Again, very fucking simple; it’s because you have a PUSSY!! Yup I said it! You have a PUSSY! You have what every STRAIGHT MAN wants! Why do you think we get haircuts, dress fly, cop the best rides, or buy chains? It’s because WE WANT PUSSY!!!! Do you not understand the enormous amount of lengths that WE will do for PUSSY! It’s actually so FUNNY! LOL. You WOMEN can’t grasp this so you give the PUSSY for free!! Some RERE will eventually give it up!! LOL.


Please WOMEN, understand that MEN WILL GO TO YOU!!! HOLY SHIT!! LOL. So Instead of consuming your life with constant MEN ISSUES; STOP BEING RETARDED and be productive with your life. Educate yourself, empower yourself, go to the gym, take a dance class, take yoga, get a FUCKING JOB! I don’t give a FUCK just stop talking about the same FUCKING SHIT!! Because you’re soooo consumed with MEN issues you turn out to be a fucking HOOD RAT!! That is extremely frustrating! The most precious thing in this world and most of you are RETARDED!! Don’t tell me that you’ve had a hard life, or you lived in poverty or whatever your excuses are! (Try to visit a third world country). I really don’t give a FUCK!

So the majority end up not finishing high school, end of pregnant (maybe more than once if you’re lucky; you know so you could have more to claim on your income tax) and eventually end up using my TAX DOLLARS for FUCKING WELFARE!! The funny thing is that you WOMEN really think you’re CUTE. SWEETY, when you’re walking down the street with your stroller, your Chanel bag (that your purchased from the Dominican hair salon), fresh shoes, and new clothes on, I know and so do several million people know, YOU DON'T HAVE A POT TO PISS IN!! LOL. You walk around thinking you look cute rapping “YOU AINT GOT KNOW MONEY IN THE BANK.” LMFAO.. Do you not understand that the song was made for BITCHES LIKE YOU!!

I’m clearly upset but the reasons are justifiable! Ladies when you do take my advice and be productive and eventually raise your standards of a MAN; Men will change! But for all you woman that will continue to talk about “WHY YOU CANT FIND A GOOD MAN,” the answer is because your retarded!!!
PS. For those women that are progressing, THAT’S WASSUP! Nothing sexier than an educated, beautiful ambition woman and for those men that RUIN it for the GOOD MEN; go FUCK YOURSELF!!!

-Butta

I applaude that rant. I mean, ladies, you can do what you want. But you tend to flock to the bad seeds, which is fine, but please don't complain that there are no more good men around. Shit, we're here, but get ignored so we eventually have to turn into the assholes that break your heart. The next time you say, "there are no good men", think about the dude that wanted to give you everything and all the love he could give, but you decided to stay with the asshole that treats you like shit every other day. In general, I hate complainers, but I especially hate complainers who actually have a choice and can move on, but don't. You are the master of your own destiny, so if you want a better man, find one. Simple as that.

-Pablo

VENT YOUR ANGER!

Hello World! It's time for another blog update. This is a new segment called VENT YOUR ANGER. These blogs are not written by me, but I will post up the best rant that you(my fans) send me. I will release 1 every couple of weeks as long as you send me the rants. This particular blogger chooses to stay anonymous and I will honor their wishes. So if anyone has something that pisses them off, then draft your issues and I will post. Enjoy!

CHILDREN!!

I'm walking on Broadway minding my own business when all of a sudden it hits me:

People need to stop having kids! I'm tired of walking through the street and seeing the 20 year old girl with a pop belly pushing a baby carriage with her broke ass man who spent his welfare check on a ps3 and his savings on a flat screen.

I know I sound insensitive. I really do have all the respect for people who hustle to make ends meet, but why the eagerness to doom yourself to a life of poverty? And even for those who aren't poor, raising children, especially alone, is too much fuckin work unless you're Kourtney Kardashian and can wipe your baby's muddy ass with hundred dollar bills.

I'm no Mr. Moneybags myself, but I'm not trying to start a fuckin family! I'm convinced half of these girls do it so they have someone to dress up for their Facebook albums.

By now, I've probably pissed you off. You think I'm some miser who doesn't know the joy of childbirth, and you know what? You're right. I am fuckin miserable, and I can't comprehend why anyone else would want to thrust an innocent life into this overcrowded, priced-out world, a world that the parents themselves barely understand... AY YA!!

- person who remains anonymous for fear of alienating old
grade school and high school classmates

Grinds meiner Gänge!!!

Hello World! It's time for another vent session. You know what grinds my gears!? People who decide that they should preach either in the middle of the street or in the middle of a packed subway. It's freaking 8am! I do not want to listen to you talk about how we are all going to hell because we don't follow your religion! I just want to listen to some music or read a fucking book! You tell me that we are all sinners and that our only salvation is to go to church like a good drone because we should all just blindly follow what an "ancient" book says. This isn't a bash against religion, but more against the religious extremists! There are a lot of methods for people to find out about your religion, there is no need to preach in the street. What kills me are people who refuse to back down when you tell them that you aren't interested in joining their cult...oops I meant religion. But for real, if someone turns you down, please don't continue to badger them, especially in the early morning. Religion is a whole other conversation for another day.

Also, you know what grinds my gears?! PEOPLE WHO COVER THEIR EARS IN THE SUBWAY! You live in loud ass NYC! Don't tell me you can't handle the train passing the station! Stop being a pussy and uncover your ears! If you don't like the sound, then take the bus jackhole!

You know what also grinds my gears? When people type,"hehehehe" in a txt or online. What kind of gay laugh is that!? I mean for real! Even for chicks thats pretty homo! Please see the difference between, "hahahahaha" and "hehehehehe" below!





See the difference!? Gay! Please don't use it!

Well that's all I've got for today. Here are new words/abbreviations to use online!

1. GLG- "Giggling like a girl" (use this instead of "hehehehe")
2. LOL (the new version, cause do we really laugh out loud!?)-"Laughing on the inside"
3. IWUT- "I would unlike this"...if fb had that feature (For use on FB or Twitter)

Good day to all!

p.s. The title reads "grinds my gears" in German. Every time I post a new GMG, I will title it in a different language.

Lesbians!!

The 3rd definition on google of a lesbian is: a homosexual woman who
prefer to have romantic and sexual relationships only with other women.

Lesbians are cool in my book. But do you know what I hate? These phony
lesbians! Lesbians who don't ONLY want relations with other women! If
you were whorish and bagged mad dudes and then decided that you were a
lesbian, here's some advice; go shoot yourself! I'm not even saying
you were a whore, but just because a couple of guys did you wrong
doesn't mean that a woman is going to treat you better. People are
evil in general, men and women. Both can do you harm, so don't give Me
this bs that ur lesbian. To me, a lesbian is someone who has always
known they liked women since an early age.

God, I swear that lesbianism is the new "in" thing. Do some of you
ladies realize that you're setting back
The gay and lesbian movement?? You can't jump from guy to guy to girl
to guy and call yourself a lesbian. Since day 1 you have to be bluntly
cuntly. You gals give antigay groups ammo for the argument that being
gay is a "lifestyle choice" rather than a genetic trait. I understand
that us guys can be assholes, but so can women. Everyone is capable of
evil. A woman will Hurt you the same as a man will, maybe worse. Just
because you like football doesn't make you a lesbian. Just because you
watch Ellen and Rosie O'Donnell doesn't make you lesbian (ok maybe a
little). The only time I'd believe you're lebian is if you told me
that you have always dreamed of finger popping or scissoring Barbie
and smurfette! Please, just find a better guy overall. There are many
good guys out there like myself (hell yeah I self promote!).

I love my women, so please, If your heterosexual stay that way cause
I need to soak my wild oats! (yes I know the say is "sow", but I think soak is more appropriate)

IS IT RACIST?

Subway Observation

Why's is she wearing a shiny glittery hat? That hat should be made illegal because it can cause glare to drivers! Also, who falls asleep on a train at 6:30pm? That's just bummy!






I understand that you're playing music on the train for money, but do you have to bring a whole wardrobe for a subway performance!? You ain't on broadway dudes! You aren't even in mama Mexico! Dress casual without them steel(literally steel) toe boots. You can't get in a club or past airport security. So please tell me why! Why is it okay to wear on a subway performance!? Lol
That's the end of this months, "that's what's going on in the subway"

Here's some advice

Ladies, You can do alot of things to a guy and he'll still want to
have sex with you. If you just met a guy you like, but you slept with
his best friend, he'll still fuck you. Just don't expect him to be
your boyfriend. Now Most ladies are the opposite. If a guy has sex
with thier bff, they will not even entertain messing with the guy,
even if the friend says it's ok (I'm talking about non-skallywags).

Ladies, if you have sex with a guy on the first date, he will do
either two things. 1. Never call you back or 2. Call you for booty
calls and then dump you when a wifey shows up. I mean you should know
this, but some of you do it anyway. That dude is not gonna wife you no
matter how hard you wish and pray, especially if you were trying to
convince him not to wear a rubber (you have whorebag written all over
you!) . You just got played for a sucka, keep it movin!

Fellas, if you been on 5 dates with this chick and you haven't gotten
a kiss, move on! You are in the friend zone! Trust me, I learned the
hard way a long time ago. You realistically have 2 dates to close the
deal. First date, you may still be feeling each other out, end the
night with a hug/kiss on the cheeck if ur too scared to go in. If she
accepts a second date, then you should definetly go in!! Lol she
wouldn't accept a second date if she didn't like you. If you failed to
go in on the second date, your last chance is the third. Now I know I
said you have two dates, but the third is a wildcard. She is either
wondering if you don't like her, or she's confused as to why you don't
make a move. If you don't make your move, she will either think you
want to be just friends or she will make you a friend cause you don't
have that killer instinct. Be a man and go after your prey!!! Lmao.
Oh, one last thing, if you introduce the girl you like as "my friend"
that is exactly what she will become.

I'm definetly no expert at relationships or love as some of my best
friends can tell you. I have had a few side chicks, and fewer
girlfriends because i felt that they weren't on my level or even
shared the same dreams/thoughts i had. But I have sat back and
observed. I don't know what made me write all this shit; it's
unfocused and cluttered.(probably cause I'm bored). But I do know at
least a good 60% of it is true. Now fellas/ladies, tell me if I'm
wrong about anything I've said or add to it.

-Pablo "Joaquin Papopin" Marrero